No stitches, just platelets and will power
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
