Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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