a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pants are for mortals
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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