Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
