on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
