Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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