sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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