im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
