it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
