My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
