yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
