Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
only you would photoshop your dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
