So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
