I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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