I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
