so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You are the jesus of drinking
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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