is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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