i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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