I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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