Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
