I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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