What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
