no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
