She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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