This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
