Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
