Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
