It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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