They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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