He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
