Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
