So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
