So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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