Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
