i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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