So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
