Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
