Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
