i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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