i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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