Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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