Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
