I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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