Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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