That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
