Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
