Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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