So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
