You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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