apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
